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Wanting a Vegan Partner


It’s been a long time since I wrote anything about veganism on here, and I want to address a question that I often get asked by my friends. Do I want my future partner to be vegan?
(This is not my image and I do not own any rights)

It’s a simple question, with a simple answer: yes. And to me it makes perfect sense why. But my answer always confuses the other person and leaves them quite puzzled.
When I reply that I wouldn’t want to be with anyone long-term who isn’t vegan, they think I’m this horrible girlfriend who will dictate my partner’s life. I would never want to forcefully make my partner vegan, there’s nothing nice or beautiful about it! In the long-run it wouldn’t work anyways. And it’s just not me, I want my partner to be vegan by choice. I am more than happy to play an important role in their transition, but of course they need to want to make the change.
I don’t mind how long it would take for them to go vegan, 1 year, or even 2 years; the point is that eventually they would want to make the change. I think being with someone non-vegan would bring so much frustration in me that the relationship could possibly be damaged because of it. But again, I would never give an ultimatum to my partner, it would happen naturally, I hope. I see some vegans and vegetarians who don’t mind being with carnists, and honestly I find that so brave. People often underestimate how painful it is to see others eat animals, and watching someone you love doing that almost on a daily basis is nowhere near easy. I have it enough with my family and friends, I don’t want to go through it with my partner as well. 
I would love to know your thoughts on this, if you are vegan and don’t have a vegan partner, if you’re a non-vegan and are in a relationship with someone who is, if you mind/don’t mind… Leave a comment below! 
Love,
Eleonore. 

PS: the start of the new year means it's also the start of Veganuary, an opportunity to try veganism during the month of January. You can go to veganuary.com for recipe ideas, useful tips and support, answers to many important questions, and information on where to find some vegan alternatives to your favourite foods. And it's all free, so check it out! 

Comments

  1. I really like this post Eleonore, you have a lovely name by the way! I’ve been in a relationship where my partner eats meat. To begin with I was vegetarian and then I became vegan which definitely caused some rifts. To me it makes sense that your partner should have the same views and morals as you because we all look for people with traits similar to our own. At the very least I would want them to be willing to accept my opinions on veganism x

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    1. Thank you!
      Yes i completely agree. I don't know why so many don't seem to understand it!
      It must've been difficult, as you said even if they are not vegan, it's best if they accept that you are and make the necessary efforts to live in harmony with you.
      Thank you for your lovely comment x

      Delete
  2. My partner is vegetarian and I, over the years, am experiencing a paradigm shift that is slowly turning me vegetarian too. I definitely agree that ideally you will both have the same outlook - I for one like to spend quality time eating with my other half, and I like for us both to eat the same food, so I eat vegetarian 99% of the time. The other 1% is if I'm a guest at someone's house, or if we go out to dinner. He is really accepting, and I really go to bat for him because he's terrible about making his dietary needs known (he never wants to be "difficult"). Between us we make it work. I think it's inevitable that I will with time become 100% vegetarian and would not be surprised if we slid towards veganism but for the moment we muddle along pretty well!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for your comment! Not wanting to be difficult is something I struggled with as well. I'm glad you manage to make it work well between the two of you, and that you're fine with following and sharing his lifestyle. :) x

      Delete
  3. I love this post and completely understand what you mean. When I first went vegan my boyfriend didn’t change anything, but recently he has become vegetarian and eats vegan food with me when we’re together and it means so much to me that he’s decided to make the change. Great post ��

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! And that's great that he's made a change, so lovely to have someone to share your food with

      Delete
  4. Not confusing at all that you would like a vegan partner, it makes complete sense. My boyfriend went vegan before I did, so I've never experienced being with a meat-eater whilst being vegan. I don't think I would mind being with a partner who consumes animal products, but I'd definitely like for them to be very conscious about reducing meat intake etc. !!
    jenny x | www.jennyrosee.com

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    Replies
    1. Oh that's good that you've never had to experience it! but it's cool you don't think you'd mind, you have a stronger tolerance than me haha

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  5. I have exactly this mindset too! And then I was lucky enough to meet my vegan boyfriend just over a year ago, around half a year after he'd already transitioned. I appreciate this aspect of our relationship all the time, and now I've experienced it like this I don't think I could do it differently!
    Alys
    https://alysjournals.wordpress.com/

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    Replies
    1. Yeah exactly! Once you've experienced it, it seems impossible to have it any other way!

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